RIP Gabriel My Boy
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It’s very hard for me to write this post as I just buried Gabriel yesterday.
But I believe I must write his story so he didn’t die in vain.
His death has thought me my lessons and I hope this might save a few lives also.
About two weeks ago, my friend who is a dog rescuer (she has more than 100 dogs) called me and told me that they’re going to have a neutering day and asked me whether I wanted to send my dogs for neutering.
At first I said “No”, to be honest, I didn’t have the budget to send them for neutering, but my friend said it’s ok I can pay later.
I also had doubt at that time because I’ve never sent my dogs to any other vets than the ones I’ve been going to for the past 7 year.
Some people asked me why I went to that vet because they are more expensive, and why I gave my dogs 10 in 1 vaccination, why I give them good food.
“They are JUST stray dogs”.
Well, they are NOT just rescued stray dogs to me.
THEY ARE MY FAMILY. MY BOYS AND GIRLS.
I also actually didn’t trust the people from this Klinik Kembiri SPCA because I heard not so good thing before.
I don’t know what the fuck happened to my head that day that I actually said yes to my friend.
I think because my friend also loves her dogs and she really takes good care of them. And if she trusts these people, they might be ok.
Maybe the SPCA Klinik Kembiri now is not as bad as before.
I was WRONG.
If my friend is reading this, I hope she doesn’t blame herself and feel guilty or anything like that.
I never blame her. She’s among the nicest people I’ve known and she has a very good heart. All she wants to do is help others.
But I’m sorry I can’t say the same thing with those people from SPCA who did the neutering.
Maybe all of them are not like that, but if you’re in the same organization and you let this happened, what else can I say about you?
The neutering was supposed to be on July 27th, but it was postponed because they didn’t have enough vets to neuter all the dogs… A sign that I’ve should have seen and canceled sending my boys. But I didn’t.
The night before the neutering day, I also didn’t feel like going. My friend sent me a reminder, I saw it but I didn’t reply it straight away because I still had doubt (2nd sign).
But somehow that morning, I thought just get it over and sent my boys. People want to help you and you shouldn’t say no.
On Saturday, August 4th 2012, around 12.30pm, I arrived at the place and brought Gabriel and Indiana to the house where they were doing the neutering.
I brought in Gabriel first, once I arrived, the vet (I think his name is Dr. Goh) came out with a syringe, and straight poke Gabriel with it.
In my head, “that was fast” and I didn’t feel good about it (3rd sign).
Thinking about it again, it’s totally different when I went to my vets.
First, they would check my dog’s temperature, asked how old, is he ok and then take their weight.
How the fuck do you know how much you need to inject the medicine if you don’t know the weight of the dog, right?
Come on, I’m not a vet but don’t you think it’s common sense?
I should have took my boys back at that point… but I didn’t. I’m so sorry Gabriel. I’m fucking stupid.
But it happened so fast. After he injected Gabriel, he straight injected Indiana and a few minutes later they took both of the for the operation.
While they were doing the operation, I was out with this Indian boy who was helping my friend taking care and cleaning her dogs.
He said, “Itu satu doctor kan, dia buat banyak darah keluar tau. Yang lain takde darah. Yang itu tak bagus” (there this one doctor, when he did the operation, the dogs were bleeding quite bad, a lot of blood. That doctor is not good). 4th sign.
I was very worried at that point but I tried to keep calm and prayed to God that my boys would be ok.
Then they brought Gabriel and Indiana out. I sat beside them and silently told them how sorry I am for not giving them the best treatment for this. I’m so sorry.
While I was waiting for Gabriel and Indiana to wake up, more dogs coming in for the neutering.
My friend brought in a puppy who looks like my late dog, Shan Bong, and her mom also I think.
I helped my friend to spray some tick medicine on this puppy. She looks young and her size is just a little bit bigger than my dog, Jersey.
Then came that Dr. Goh with his mighty syringe and poked the puppy.
On his way back in to the operation room I overheard he said something like, “that one looked big from far.”
In my head, “did he just poke the puppy that he thought was big?”
So, I quickly went to that puppy and she knocked off already!
Usually it would take a while or a few minutes. I think it was less than a minute. (5th sign)
Then, I saw Indiana woke up, but he went in after Gabriel, shouldn’t Gabriel wake up first?
And then all the dogs that went for the operation AFTER Gabriel woke up but not my boy.
I caressed him and called him. He didn’t move while Indiana already walking around.
Around 5.30pm only he woke up but still half awake. At that time of the SPCA people went off already.
I carried him to the truck and he laid down with his head on my bag.
I prepared a bed in the kitchen for him, then I carried him and placed him on the bed.
He opened his eyes, looked at me. I told him I love him and I’m so so very sorry.
I just sat with him for a few minutes, massaged his head, his body and he closed his eyes again.
I put food near his bed but he didn’t eat. Only late at night he woke up and ate his food. I was so relieved.
The next day (August 5th, 2012), he was at the kitchen gate when I woke up to see him. I knew he wanted to go out to do his business. So I let him out.
I prepared the food for the rest of my dogs and they all ate except Gabriel.
So I brought Gabriel in with his food, he didn’t eat. He just went to lay down on the bed.
I spent a few minutes with him talking and caressing his body.
I often talked to him because he’s the cleverest among all my dogs and I know he understand what I’m saying.
Once a while I’d go to the kitchen and spent a few minutes with him.
The whole Sunday he was just laying on his bed, he only ate again at night.
But on Monday morning he seemed to feel better. He ate his food when it was meal time.
He seemed to have more energy and I was happy to see him wagging his tail again.
When he was outside, I heard a sound of palm leaf being dragged on the floor.
I remember smiling as I knew it was him and he’s back to normal. He liked to play with leaves.
When he saw me, he would grabbed the leaf and ran, asking me to chase him. That’s my Gabriel.
Around 9pm I let him, Ross and Golek into the kitchen to sleep and let some of my dogs out to do their business. The normal routine.
After I brought them in, I laid down on my bed for awhile as I’ve been sitting in front of the computer the whole day.
A few minutes later I heard Gabriel howling. He used to howl every time I went off to work.
I quickly got up and while walking to the kitchen, I told him, “I’m here Gabriel, I’m here”.
Then I saw him laying on the floor, not moving with his eyes opened. I ran to him and called him. He’s not breathing and not responding to me.
I hold his head up while calling him, at that point I already started crying.
He took two gasps of air and that’s it. That’s it. My boy was gone.
Just a few minutes before he looked at me and wagged his tail!
How was that possible!!!!!
I screamed and screamed his name but he just laid there.
So, I let Ross and Golek out. Put Gabriel on his bed and tried to close his eyes.
I sat there with him, kissing and caressing his body and telling him I’m sorry.
I was still trying to figure out what had just happened and where should I bury him.
I still couldn’t believe that he’s gone.
Only if I had followed my instinct and stick with my principle, my boy would still be here with me.
But I didn’t.
I slept around 2am and woke up around 4.30 am to let Qachim out to do his business.
I decided to bury Gabriel, under the tree outside of the house compound near the area where I parked my car.
Since it’s a public area, later when I have my own land, I can bring him there. I don’t care if it’s just his bones.
After I had a drink and two slices of bread I felt sleepy again and decided to go back to sleep.
Then I dreamed. In my dream I went to the place where I planned to bury Gabriel.
I was so surprised how beautiful it was. It was on top of a hill facing a stream that was surrounded my green hills. It was a garden. I didn’t know that area looked like that.
It was supposed to be a monsoon drain.
I even took pictures with my phone and in my heart I told Gabriel, “Gabriel it’s a beautiful place boy”.
When I started digging his grave I woke up. Then I knew he’s in good place.
Then I went out of the house to get the stuff to dig his grave and I saw the leaf on the floor.
Because he’d run to that leaf and ask me to chase him. But he’s not there anymore.
But I had to be strong as I know it’s time to bury him.
I started digging under that tree. Suddenly I smelled a very nice smell.
I think it came from the tree roots I had to chop off in the ground when I was digging the hole.
The smell is damn nice. I think that’s how heaven would smell like.
I thank God for showing me all these signs from heaven. I think I’m blessed.
It was quite hard to dig the hole because of the tree roots but I was determined to put him to rest there.
I gave him another kisses from me and his mummy. Told him we love him so much.
Then I put him in along with his collar, his tennis ball, tug-a-war toy and a few sugar biscuits that I thought I wanted to give him but I was just too late.
He’s at the best place now. He’s with God.
This morning when preparing the meals for my other dogs, I started crying when I realized I cooked for 12.
After I gave my dogs their meals, I went to Gabriel’s grave and talked to him for a while. I felt a bit better.
I used to talk to him when I gave him his food.
Now when I saw his brother, Jasper, I saw him too as Jasper looks alike like him, only he has different color.
This reminds me that I need to move on because I have 11 more that I must take care of and I must make sure I don’t make the same mistake.
The lessons I learned from this are…
1. Trust your guts
So, if you love your dog as much as I do, if your dog is your family, I suggest you check who your vets are, read up and ask questions.
Don’t leave the life of your loved ones in the hands who don’t care.
Those who treat animals like a second class creature or who thinks that they have a magical power who can just know what to do and what medicine to give a dog or a cat by just looking at them.
I’m gonna leave all this to God as I believe in God and Karma.
What goes around comes around.
As far as I’m concerned, they killed my boy. And I let them. It’s my fault.
But I’m not going to dwell on this and I’m going to move on as a better person.
I must make sure that this won’t happen again to my other babies.
I also pray that it won’t happen to everyone else babies. It’s a horrible experience.
Gabriel, I’m so proud of you, I love you so so much and I’m so so sorry. I miss you boy.
Here are a few videos of Gabriel which I’m very glad to have them. You can see how full of life and clever he is.
I found out he’s damn clever
Then he had parvo. It was quite bad, but he survived..
Another video of him. I just loved training and playing with him. I always told my best friend, “He’s my genius boy.”
I’m so proud of him.
Had so much fun with him.
Creator at ChetzTogom.com
I'm a lover, an engineer and entrepreneur. I'm crazy about my partner and best friend and my 8 dogs. Whatever I do they are the first thing in mind. This is why I do what I do. Being an engineer is awesome but even if I become the CEO of a company that is not mine, the fact is my salary won't be enough to have a life I dream of with my family. That's is why I also work on my online business. It took me a long time to find a system that would really help ANYONE who wants to make money online. It's kinda a miracle because I found it when I was really at the bottom of my life's journey. If you have question about the system I'm using right now to make money online, do email me email@example.com or message me on FB http://www.facebook.com/chetzyusof.
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